The Great Below
by Rosette-Cullen
Summary: Addiction is a disease on many levels. When the little sister of a dealer meets the trusted friend, how will their relationship come about? M for adult themes, drug use, sex. AH OOC. Entry for Exploration of the Senses.


**Title: The Great Below**

**Pen Name: Rosette-Cullen**

**Sense: Touch**

**Genre: Horror & Romance**

**Characters: Edward and Bella**

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_One more hit._

He set the lines.

_Just one more hit._

I heard the nauseating sound of a nostril sucking, five straight seconds, a sigh of relief.

_Just give it to me!_

"Edward," James cooed sickly. His crooked yellow teeth grinned at me. "You up for another round?"

I rolled my shoulders and tried to stop the shaking that was rocking the entire room. James's ugly face was staring at me, teasing me with his pinpoint pupils and drug induced glow. Twenty minutes ago that had been me.

"You know I am," I snapped.

"But you don't got any money," he sang.

A shudder went up my spine. "You know I'll pay you back."

"Last time it took you nearly six weeks."

"I paid you back didn't I?" I nearly yelled.

He pulled his greasy blonde hair away from his face and stared past my head. His fucking red eyes mocked me, pulled the subdued anger out from under my feet and I pushed my fists into my sides to keep from hitting him. The last thing I needed to do was get on my supplier's bad side.

I managed to pull back the rage enough to inhale slowly and nod at him. He grinned again, fucking happy as a clam that he could get me riled up.

"As long as you pay me back," James said as he slid the tray with coke lines over to me.

My stomach jumped into my chest and I leaned forward eagerly. James put a hand on my shoulder as I grabbed the clear plastic straw.

His grimy fingers grabbed at the skin of my bicep and his dirty palm stained my white wife beater. I was ready to fucking kill him; if he needed to talk he could wait until I was out of it.

"Edward, man, I forgot to ask you something." His fingers trailed down my arm and I smacked him away. "Sorry. I think you should be sober and whatnot. My sister's coming to town next week, I'm, uh, gonna be out of commission so you gotta pick her up at the airport."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" I growled. _Just let me do the Goddamn hit!_

He pursed his lips in thought. "You do this for me and you don't have to pay me back the money you owe."

"Done," I agreed immediately.

He leaned back in his seat, smiling like he'd just won the lottery. I bent forward and stared at the white line leading the wonderful trail to my happiness.

* * *

The roads were completely congested with cars, tractor-trailers and utility vehicles that weren't doing anything to move the traffic along. Why, on a Wednesday at noon, would they decide to redo the break down lane? Just pull into the fucking grass and be done with it.

My leg was bouncing on the dead pedal and I was thinking back to last night when I'd been so blissed out that I'd had a conversation with the television. I never remembered much, but James had been giggling in his hyena way about it this morning.

The fucker couldn't come pick up his own sister even though he was probably sitting at home doing drug deals. The first week of the month was his busy time, new customers coming in to try different things. I was the trust fund kid who got the leftovers.

My phone ran from the passenger seat and I grabbed it roughly, shoving it to my ear.

"What?" I barked.

"I know you're always angry but you could answer the phone without blowing in my eardrums," James muttered with a gaggle of laughs behind him.

My fingers twitched around the plastic. "What the fuck do you want? I'm sitting in Goddamn traffic to pick up your fucking sister that you're too busy to see yourself."

"Edward," James said seriously. It was lost on me, I couldn't take him seriously after watching him crawl on the ground and laugh at the ceiling for hours on end. "My little sister doesn't know about what I do. I can't have her around all these thugs and losers."

"So what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?"

His cryptic responses were starting to bother me. The only information I was given was that I had to pick up his little sister. Nothing else. No drop off point, no information about her.

Traffic inched forward slowly. And I nearly rear-ended the guy in front of me in my frustration.

"You better pick Bella up on time, her plane lands in twenty."

"Well I'm thirty away, and that's if a ray of light comes down and clears a path in front of me."

"Edward, I'm fucking serious!"

"What the fuck am I supposed to do when I get her?" I ground out.

James started speaking to some guy in the background. He barked a price and haggled before coming back. "Take her to your place."

I gaped like a fish at the kid in the backseat of a beat up Acura in the lane over. He stuck his tongue out and his chubby face scrunched up before he ducked back down and pulled his sister up with him. My middle finger twitched.

I took in a deep breath through my nose. The rage was boiling up and coiling through my muscles.

"You better calm the fuck down, Edward," James snapped. "If you scare my sister I'll cut off all your doses."

"Okay, okay," I breathed.

My muscles settled down and I felt the near adrenaline spike leave me limp and lifeless. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up quickly. The little girl gave me a disapproving look.

"She has to stay with you for a while. My mom wanted her to come down here since she and her new husband are doing the freaky things that my baby sister doesn't know about."

"You said she was nineteen."

"She doesn't fucking know," he hissed.

"Yeah, sure, because she isn't like us when we were nineteen."

"Shut the fuck _up_!" This time I kept my mouth closed. "If you pull anything stupid when she's around I'll fuck you up. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I got it." I rolled forward a few inches and I could the see breaking point in the traffic ahead.

"Pick her up from the airport, bring her back to your place, and lock her up in your guest bedroom."

"What am I supposed to say when she asks where you are?"

"Make something up, I already called her and told her who you are." Voices in the background held his attention and he swore. "Listen, I gotta go, text me when you get her."

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed.

"Hey, Edward?"

"What, James?"

"No drugs." The line went dead and I swore so loud that the kids in the car in front of me screamed to tell their mother.

The red and yellow truck moved away, behemoth grunting and groaning as it parked further up the road.

I slammed on the accelerator and shot off through the merge onto the freeway.

Forty minutes later I pulled up to the airport, irritated and shaking with anger and on my third cigarette. There was only one girl in the arrival terminal and I pulled up to where she was on a green bench with the thickest book I'd ever seen.

I rolled down the passenger side window and called out to her. Snapping her head up, her eyes met mine and she pulled some ear buds out.

"Are you Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah, you're Edward?" She moved closer to the car and I unlocked the door. She looked a bit hesitant but looked at her phone before eagerly getting into my warm car.

She had dark brown hair pulled up and her cheeks were flushed from the cold. Her skin was oddly pale for someone from Florida.

"I'm Edward," I answered. "Your brother's got some business sh—I mean things he needs to take care of. You'll be staying in the guest room at my place until he can come and get you."

She nodded her consent and looked back out through the window. My irritation cleared up a bit when I saw the sorry assholes that were stuck in traffic.

* * *

Bella and I dragged her luggage up the four flights of stairs even though the elevator was in good shape. James gave me specific orders not to let her in there, though. She could get claustrophobic and have a panic attack, blah, blah, blah.

Three giant ass bags and two hundred stairs later we outside the door to my apartment while I bumbled around for my keys. The entire time she said nothing, just watched me close enough to make me squirm.

The door creaked open and I was faced with my small two bedroom, one bath apartment and my dealer's sister by my side.

We walked into the foyer, the white walls and brown furniture were nothing special, but she moved forward like she was in her home. Her small hand reached out for the gas on the fireplace and I turned up the heat.

"It's really cold in here," she said while wrapping her arms around her waist.

I opened up the fridge and took out a beer. "I'm not home much."

Bella took a seat on the couch and pulled a pillow to her lap with her back to the armrest. I dragged her bags to the end of hallway so I wouldn't kill myself walking out of the kitchen.

"Jamie says you're a doctor," she said when I sat in the recliner.

I flicked on the TV. "Yeah, I just finished my interning."

"Why did you become a doctor?" she asked.

_The free drugs. _"My dad's Chief of Medicine. I'm next in the long line of doctors."

"Do you feel forced being in the medical field?"

I looked at her and scrunched my eyebrows together. She was looking at the throw pillow in her lap and tugging at a string. "Uh, I don't know."

She looked up and bit the corner of her lip. "I mean, like, did you become a doctor because of your dad?"

I took a swig of my beer. "Yeah, that's a reason."

She nodded and stared at the TV. The heat kicked on and the fireplace was burning strong. I pulled off my sweatshirt and threw it on the floor next to me.

"James says you just finished your first year of college?" I asked.

She smiled. "Yeah, I'm in psychology."

_Aw, fuck._ That was why she asked those weird questions. Did I really come off as someone with mental issues?

"Huh. What do they, uh, teach you in class?" My leg started to bounce up and down.

"How to tell if someone's lying, nervous ticks." Her eyes darted to my leg and I stopped it immediately. "I just finished a class on counseling abuse victims."

"Sounds…cool," I responded lamely.

This little girl, who probably weighed little more than a hundred pounds, made me obscenely nervous. Maybe it was the fear of getting called out on my drug habit, having to deal with her psycho analysis, or maybe having to deal with James if he found out.

"Do you read?" she asked suddenly.

"No, not when I don't have to."

She frowned. "Jamie said you were a book buff."

"Oh, yeah, I am. I mean, I collect older books, some of the classics. There's a shelf in your room if you wanna go check it out."

She nearly jumped off the couch as she walked quickly to the bedroom down the hall. With her out of the room I relaxed in front of the boob tube and tried not to run to my room for a dose of vitamin c.

* * *

It was fucking pouring outside and I was stuck in my apartment with Bella the Mindfucker giving me sideways glances as she read her thick ass novel that she was almost done with. Every time she spoke I felt like she was violating me with her probing mind and my open mouth.

I stopped watching TV and started thinking up reasons for leaving the room. I didn't want to be rude and just leave her there all alone, but I also didn't want start spouting crap. Fucking therapists made me nervous.

The phone rang in the kitchen and I said a quick prayer of thanks to whoever was listening. The caller ID popped up and I clenched my jaw when James's name screened through.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I hissed into the receiver.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, is Bella okay? Is she there with you?"

"Yes she's here with me. She's been_ here_ with me for the past _two days_."

"Yeah, well, I had big business here and I think they were screening my calls. I couldn't risk it if they thought I was working with cops or something."

I barked a laugh. "Yeah, you and cops. Why didn't you tell me your little sister was a therapist? She's been scrutinizing me since she got here and I'm on major withdrawal."

"She's not one yet, man. I'm sure she just thinks you're uncomfortable with her being around, knowing that I'll kick your ass if you do anything and all."

"You couldn't kick my ass if my hands were tied behind my back. Before you take up that offer, when are you coming to get her? I don't know how much longer I can hold out when I've got some primo stuff in my nightstand."

"I need another two to three days at least. I'm calling you from a payphone. Some guy from Rhode Island is buying shit for the whole state." I could practically hear him rolling his eyes. "I have to wait for my front man to get me what I need and then they'll be gone."

I ran a hand over my face. "You're killing me, man."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But listen; just…keep an eye out for Bella, please? I tried to get her out here later, but it was a no go. I don't like her being in the same state, much less city, as these guys."

"I'll keep her safe, don't worry. We haven't even been outside because of the weather." I said the last part a little louder so Bella would hear. Like I thought, she came up to the doorway.

"Is that my brother?" she asked.

I nodded. "Hey, James, I got someone who wants to talk to you."

Bella snatched the phone out of my hand. "Jamie!"

I walked away down the hall to give her some privacy. I found myself sitting on my bed, staring at the drawer on my bedside. My fingers tugged gently at the knob until it rolled open. There, staring up at me was a small clear plastic bag that James had given me as incentive to look after Bella. I wished I'd told him to hold onto it, the temptation was fucking killing me.

I craved the sensations that ran through me, always consuming and pushing thoughts away until I was shrouded in bliss.

I had a week off from work and I couldn't even enjoy it without feeling guilty. Instead, I had a barely legal teenage girl who happened to be the daughter of my drug dealer stopping me from enjoying life.

If anything I should have been doing coke off of her like a scene from _The Departed_.

Bella coughed in the doorway of my room. I snapped the drawer shut and turned to look at her. I attempted to appear calm and collected by crossing my legs and smiling at her, but I had no idea how much she'd seen or how long she'd even been there.

"What did James have to say?" I asked through a dry throat.

"He'll be here to pick me up in three days." She took a hesitant step forward and I resisted the urge to push my arm out to cover my stash drawer.

"Oh yeah? That's cool, if the weather clears up, there's a museum downtown that we can check out or a book store or, uh—"

"What's in that drawer?" she interrupted.

"Nothing," I answered automatically.

She pursed her lips. "You're lying."

"No I'm not." I tried to bite back the venom that was waiting to lash out but her eyebrow hitching made me more pissed.

"Why do you have to keep me safe?" she asked indignantly.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Did I tell her that I had three good doses of coke in my nightstand? Or maybe that because her drug dealer brother bit off more than he could chew that any blood relative was up for kidnapping? Neither one was acceptable.

"I'm a sex addict," I blurted.

Her mouth fell open and she looked stunned. I was reeling through different things to tell her, and I wasn't sure how to cover this up. What did it matter? I wouldn't ever see her again anyway.

"Um…" she mumbled.

"Your brother didn't want me to, you know." I waved my hand around and like I was controlling her, she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

At least she wouldn't go snooping through my shit. She didn't seem like the kind who would deliberately go looking for porn, which was in my dresser anyhow.

* * *

"When did you know that you were addicted to sex?"

"I don't know, Bella."

"At what age did you have sex for the first time?"

"Uh, sixteen? No, maybe seventeen—look, it doesn't matter."

"When was the first time you admitted you were addicted to—"

"I swear to God if you say sex one more time I'll burn every book in this house."

Bella threw her head back and started laughing loudly. For someone who'd only had one year of psych classes she was awfully intrusive. She kept asking questions about weird things, and I was trying to avoid rather than lie to her and fabricating stories to remember.

Since the day I'd told her she hadn't shut up about it. I should have just told her the Goddamn truth; it was easier than keeping this charade up. Her constant questions were driving me up a wall.

James hadn't called after that one time. I'd gotten texts from him, basic things like a question mark, obviously referring to Bella, so I'd send back something positive and that was it.

Bella became restless and bored because of the rain. We were both getting cabin fever, and I may have not been a sex addict, but I was a man. I wouldn't be so foolish as to deny how hot she was. Nineteen and in her prime, walking around my apartment, stretching and pushing her tits in my face when I helped her with breakfast, Bella was a temptation. Between the sexual tension and withdrawal I was going mad.

So maybe on Sunday night when I was sitting in my room, staring at the unopened drawer and the razor blade and plate sitting precariously on the top of my nightstand, it wasn't so shocking that I wanted to just do it and stay locked up so that no one would ever know the difference.

So I did just that.

I took a small portion, just enough to keep me going for an hour or so, and I lined it up with the razor in a neat perfect line. I didn't bother with a straw, I did it clean and raw. The rush of powder up my nose made my eyes burn, but I ran my finger over where the line used to be and then pushed it on my gums. The numbness felt unbelievably relieving.

The phone decided to ring at the moment and I was relieved that I couldn't feel the effects just yet.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward, that you man?" It was James, and he sounded like he was dead.

"Yeah, who else would it be? How'd the deal go?"

I heard a shift on the phone and then James sighed. "Man, it was hell. It's a good thing my supplier pulled through because this guy was threatening to cut off my fingers if I didn't have a certain amount by a certain time."

"What did he want? Just coke, or did he get ice, too?"

"He wanted everything, man!" I could imagine him running his hands over his face and taking a hit off of something. "He wanted weed for his nephew or something, and you know I don't do petty shit like that, so I had to go and buy it off some guy on the streets just so he wouldn't kill me. Then he wanted all this other shit."

I continued to listen, asking questions about the guy, and what he needed things for. James had it rough. His customers expected high quality, expensive and large quantities of everything. It wasn't like he could just deny the bigger and scarier guys.

He started to ask questions about Bella, trying to drag out details about how she was reacting to being alone with me. The effects of the coke I'd taken were coming in and I couldn't focus on his words anymore. They echoed around inside my skull and I pushed my fingers over the soft satin of my sheets. I breathed in a shaky breath and rubbed the phone against the side of my face.

"Edward?" James yelled through the phone.

"Gotta go," I mumbled.

"Did you… did you do…"

"No," I lied and hung up abruptly.

The room swirled around me but I was at peace. My mind was silent and I concentrated every ounce of focus on the feel of the things around me. My breathing picked up and I stripped off my shirt to have the sensation come fully alive.

I heard the creak of the door and I focused until I felt the air of the sound waves hitting my skin. I looked up and blurry eyes met wide brown ones as a small goddess stood there, watching me feel the world spinning and the wind being created.

"I know that you lied to me," she whispered. "My brother thinks I'm a child… but I know what he does—what you do."

"I make the world a better place," I ground out.

"To whom?" she asked quietly, moving forward to the end of my bed.

"To me. No one wants to live in the sad reality of the world. I want to feel the…good."

She stepped forward and her eyes darted to my drawer. She moved over to it and grabbed onto the bag, taking a pinch, barely enough to do any damage and put it in a sloppy line. I should have told her no, should have pushed her away and explained the hopelessness that came with the high, but I didn't. For once I wanted someone to join me in my journey for the safe feel, someone who deserved to come with me.

She timidly took the line into her nose, coughed for a few moments while I rubbed her back with my foot and then stood up to join me on the bed. She was stiff and nervous, an obvious newcomer.

"Relax," I whispered.

"I-I can't, I don't know—I've never done this, so, what if—"

I leaned forward and grabbed the back of her head. She met me half way and we kissed. Her muscles calmed down and she sighed. I couldn't feel much because of the numbness that was on my molars, but her tongue was in there. She wasn't shy, not by a long shot.

Hands were everywhere, she was in a million different places, grabbing me and pulling me. Soft fleshy lips were on my neck and chest. Hard, short nails were biting at my skin like a pack of wolves. I screamed and the vibrations smashed into my skin with a soft resolve.

Bella was on my body, hands morphed into clothing until there was nothing. Blindness consumed me and in turn I was consumed by her, for once I was completely encased in the sanctuary that was bliss.

Girly whines shot through my pores and into my groin where teeth and tongue were fighting to overwhelm me. Soft pearls of wisdom were on my chest pushing me backward as a gentle porous, sponge like creature invaded my mouth frantically and retreated to its dwelling bellow the surface of my skin.

Teeth gripped onto my thigh, sending wave after wave of familiarity and anxiousness with it. I leaned backward into soft unforgiving kindness while the monster of my best dreams forced shock waves through my body.

My fingers were not mine, they were a soulful deity searching out its proper cavern. The sleek dew of morning ghosted over slightly raised identification and my nails were too long and awkward at this graceful temple.

Soft sighs breathed on, delightful shrieks penetrated me, and the calling of my name brought me back to a place where apple pie was my beacon and mother's comforting caress was my reward. Here, in this moment of sensory overload, a small girl was heaving her chest forward, on her back with legs spread and a palm that was not my own working over her until she was writhing so much that no friction could be felt, only slick heat that I eagerly moved toward.

I was detached and watching from above. Her small body, eyes wide and plump pink lips locked between hard and careless teeth while a behemoth body settled on top of her and the words she spoke floated in the air like brail.

She looked up at me in the ceiling, her body rocking with her breaths, dirty words touching my shoulder as she bit into it, and that quickly I was back above her.

Pain circulated in my veins and I screamed out in the wonderment of it. There was no pain in heaven, but here I would take it with pleasure. I wanted more, more of this pain so I bit back into her like an apple skin and listened to the deliciously crisp noise she made.

I punched my hips forward, tight wet heat and a swollen piece of skin shattering around my crushing force, and then I died in her arms as everything in me shot forward and I collapsed forward on my elbows, sobbing into her shoulder.

Each tear that rolled down had waves crashing in my ears and I heard bells ringing as I came back. The blindness came with tunnel vision and I saw Bella lying beneath me, teeth bleeding with the juice of her lip and tears to match my own.

In that moment I realized that we both had lost our virginity. Hers was physical and mine was soul crushingly spiritual.

"I just died," I croaked.

"You said you hate yourself," she sobbed.

I stared at her stunned, and realized too late that I had been babbling the whole time. She looked up at me and released her lip before falling back limp and lifeless. This little angel was sobbing not out of physical discomfort, but because I had screamed out my biggest insecurities.

"I hate what I've become," I whispered. "I don't like this."

"You can change," she whispered back, her hands on my face. The high had died down in a couple minutes. The exertion and sweat had dried up the well of false and pretentious safe zones.

"I can change," I repeated, disbelieving.

She kissed my lips, her blood was my blood. "Please," she whispered and kissed me again. "Please." Again. "Please." Once more.

"Yes."

"Yes," she repeated.

"Yes, Bella, yes." The sweat was back and this time I was dying to find the solace that no high could bring me.

I moved out from her tight body and moved in again. She hissed and tears trickled from her eyes, but this time I was there to wipe them away. She looked up and spread her legs wider; inviting me in to this world that only she could bring me.

Pressing my forehead to hers, I let out a ragged breath as I moved within her. It was apparently obvious that no end would come for her, but she touched me and soothed me as I muttered things to her about being unsure and not knowing.

And when it was over and we lay like puzzle pieces that were meant to fit together I knew that none of it was lie. A little goddess dressed as an innocent girl had saved me from becoming boring, mundane and frighteningly scary.

* * *

**A/N: My second entry for the Exploration of the Senses Contest. I wrote another one, Silence Speaks the Loudest. Check it out!**

**Thank you to LadyInBlue6 for the quick Beta job.**

**People who live in Rhode Island, sorry. No offense or anything, my dad's family lives there and it's like my second home.**

**Voting starts on the 31st, I'll post a chapter to tell ya when.**

**Don't forget to review!**


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